“Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.”
– John F. Kennedy
“Can we go outside and play now?”
“Soon, boy.”
“You said that ten minutes ago.”
“As soon as I finish my cof-“
“Oops.”
“You did that on purpose.”
“It slipped.”
“I’ll get my coat.”
“Excellent.”
“40 times.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That’s how much greater my sense of smell is than yours.”
“Okay, so what’s your point?”
“My point is, Dave, we really need to discuss your personal hygiene.”
it’s finally my moment to shine
[Phish concert]
“I have to pee.”
“Go when the song’s over.”
“How will I know?”
“Are you listening?”
“Yes.”
“Are you REALLY listening?”
“I really am.”
“But I mean, are you-”
“I’m not gonna say it, Dave.”
Of all of the profound disappointments that I have faced in my life, be they personal or professional, none is more firmly fixed in my mind, nor more likely to have caused my deeply-rooted trust issues, than the discovery at age four that Play-Doh doesn’t taste the way it smells.
“Hey, are you gonna eat this?”
Do you want contact-free delivery?
□ Yes
▣ No
“HEY NANCY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SOCKS?”
garage sales are a great place to find extra stuff for you to throw away when you move
“Mom, the kid in the other car is making faces at me.”
“Just ignore him, sweetie.”
“Listen, you’ll get your money, I just need a little more time.”
me hitting on a model
oh no, steve’s working tonight