@VerbsRProudest

I ran into a friend who asked how distance learning has been going with my kid. I whined about the horrorfest this morning (trying to teach 8th grade common core math.) I gave an example but my friend didn’t understand so I began explaining. Then it hit me I was teaching it AGAIN

@VerbsRProudest

Me: *snarl* Sorry. Been dealing with a work deadline, a pandemic, full-time distant learning, & trying to make sure my kid’s sole understanding of current events isn’t constructed by random youtubers & internet memes

Person: So, does that mean you’re busy?

Me: *laughing*

@VerbsRProudest

Shall I compare thee to a wooly worm?

Thou art more fuzzy and more ravenous

@VerbsRProudest

*still laughing at a real estate ad I saw yesterday for a beautiful farmhouse “off the beating path”*

@VerbsRProudest

I ordered some stuff online & they tossed a huge pack of bandaids in the box (that I didn’t order) like they’d met me.

@VerbsRProudest

13: My English teacher wants us to write in a journal every day

Me: What have you written so far?

13: “I don’t want to write a journal, & I don’t like Quarantine Chicken Surprise.”

M: Good opener.

@VerbsRProudest

13: *walking into room*

Me: (on phone, talking about types of tomato plants) I like big boys. I’ve had good luck with them in the past.

13: *makes horrified face, turns, walks back out*

@VerbsRProudest

13: *shoulders slumped dramatically, walking away from me* NO ONE ELSE’S MOM still makes them clean their room in a pandemic!

@VerbsRProudest

Overheard

Woman in convenience store to her boyfriend: If you really loved me, you’d buy me a lemur.