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Page of VerifiedJayy's best tweets

@VerifiedJayy : Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades.

Wait til spring


@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar

@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was

@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is

@VerifiedJayy: My son: do kids that get bullied go to college?

Me: no they go to the police academy

@VerifiedJayy: How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?

@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking

@VerifiedJayy: Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that

@VerifiedJayy: Never tell a joke about a midget. They can come back to bite you on the ass