@VestaTot

Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He’s been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn’t work and then shot!

@VestaTot

My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.

@VestaTot

There’s a little girl’s voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don’t mind her; she died years ago. Here’s your blanket.