@WhaJoTalkinBout

if this pandemic happened in the 80s my mom would’ve sent us out to play with plastic bags over our heads and oven mitts

@WhaJoTalkinBout

him: my dad left when I was younger, around 7

me: before rush hour, smart move

@WhaJoTalkinBout

me: sorry we’re late

st peter: what happened

grim reaper: *holding cotton candy and a giant teddy bear* traffic

@WhaJoTalkinBout

me: ok now let’s do a silly one

first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* give me all your cash

@WhaJoTalkinBout

me: I quit drugs to concentrate on rock climbing

him: nice what’s the highest you’ve been

me: I tried to kiss a goldfish

@WhaJoTalkinBout

reporter: an asteroid is predicted to hit earth this week

me: *vacuums a little faster*

@WhaJoTalkinBout

Witch from Hansel and Gretel: Hey guys, welcome to my cooking channel, be sure to smash that subscribe button *children’s voices at the door* ok! let’s get started

@WhaJoTalkinBout

soldier: is that a picture of your love?

me: *folding a Subway coupon back into my wallet* yeah