Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of Where__wolf's best tweets

@Where__wolf : If u luv sumthin set it free
*releases 2yr old into the wild*
Good luck son
*sobbing*
STOP FOLLOWING ME! GO ON,GET OUT OF HERE
*throws rocks

@Where__wolf: grandma what big eyes u have
The better to see u with my dear
What big ears u have
Well thats kinda rude
What big teeth u have
Ur grounded

@Where__wolf: "Want me to help you with that tux?"
"No"
"Ok, suit yourself"

@Where__wolf: This looks like a job for Superman!
-unemployed Superman reading the classifieds

@Where__wolf: A horse covered in floaties gallops happily toward a swimmin pool.
He sees a sign "NO HORSEPLAY"
He lowers his head
"Ok"
& sadly trots away

@Where__wolf: You guys have been the worst hostages I've ever used, hands down.
*everyone lowers their hands*
GODDAMN IT!!

@Where__wolf: "Dad Is that a killer whale?"
"No son thats an orca"
"Oh. Well what's a killer whale?"
"U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed

@Where__wolf: *covers kids eyes*
"Hey Billy, guess who?"
"Dad!"
"Nope"
"I knw its u dad. I know ur voice"
"Its not ur dad"
"Stop jking"
"Ur adopted"