In a perfect world, the phrase “axe body spray” would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.
I’ll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that’s me.
Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that’s Fahrenheit or centigrade.
Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.