Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of WineMummy's best tweets

@WineMummy : The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.

@WineMummy: Sure laying me down on a "Bed of Roses" sounds all romantic and shit, but I much rather lay on a bed of fries and onion rings.

@WineMummy: [during sex]

Can you please take your Fitbit off.

@WineMummy: Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey.

@WineMummy: When you're on a date that's not going well, just start talking about genital psoriasis.

You're welcome.

@WineMummy: A game of cat and mouse, but it's just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.