@Wine_Charmer

If you still haven’t found what you’re looking for, check between the sofa cushions.

@Wine_Charmer

PSA: Flip flops are the safest shoes to wear.

They tell potential predators that you have nothing to lose.

@Wine_Charmer

[lying in front of the fire]

11: Do you think she’s asleep or dead?

9: *throws toy, 2 massive dogs pounce on me*

Me: *screams*

9: Asleep

@Wine_Charmer

You found a baby spider in here?

-Yeah, but only one.

*Googles avg # of spiders hatched*
*eyes widen*

Just. One?

[Never. Sleeps. Again.]