@WittySassBasket

To get rid of house guests I just move them from room to room closing doors until they’re on the porch and I’m behind the locked door.

@WittySassBasket

I talk a lot of shit for a girl who can’t function when the sock seam is twisted.

@WittySassBasket

Currently blackmailing the IT guy to extend the wifi coverage for my new hiding place at work.

@WittySassBasket

I’m not heartless. It’s just in a different purse at the bottom of the closet.