10: *mischievously to her sister* One foot, two feet, so for one boot, it’s two beet.
7: Noooooo, it’s booties!
Parenting is about lovingly tucking your kids into bed at night and still waking up with a small foot on your face.
Friend’s 3 yr old: DO YOU THINK I’M A DOLLAR BILL?!
Friend, *embarrassed*: He means “adorable”
Me, to my kid: Pay attention! You’ve got to focus, it’s important in life…
Me, two minutes later: Where’d you go?!
Babies recognize their mothers’ voices in the womb so they can selectively block it when they’re older.
10: Mom, I need to tell you a secret. Dad thought he was eating white chocolate, but it was a piece of your vanilla scented candle and he liked it. Don’t tell anyone, ok?
Me: Oh, don’t worry…
Just how much toothpaste is IN this tube? Let’s squeeze it all out and see!
6: Mom, I’ve decided to make breakfast for everyone.
Me *groggily*: Oh, that’s sweet.
6: How many people live in our neighborhood?
Me: GO BACK TO BED!
The plural of mouse is mice, so the plural of spouse should be spice and I’m not discussing this any further.
6 yo: I’m getting bigger, this house won’t fit me much longer.