@Wordesse

10: *mischievously to her sister* One foot, two feet, so for one boot, it’s two beet.

7: Noooooo, it’s booties!

@Wordesse

Parenting is about lovingly tucking your kids into bed at night and still waking up with a small foot on your face.

@Wordesse

Friend’s 3 yr old: DO YOU THINK I’M A DOLLAR BILL?!

Me:

Friend, *embarrassed*: He means “adorable”

@Wordesse

Me, to my kid: Pay attention! You’ve got to focus, it’s important in life…

Me, two minutes later: Where’d you go?!

@Wordesse

Babies recognize their mothers’ voices in the womb so they can selectively block it when they’re older.

@Wordesse

10: Mom, I need to tell you a secret. Dad thought he was eating white chocolate, but it was a piece of your vanilla scented candle and he liked it. Don’t tell anyone, ok?

Me: Oh, don’t worry…

@Wordesse

Just how much toothpaste is IN this tube? Let’s squeeze it all out and see!

– Toddlers

@Wordesse

*5.30 a.m.*

6: Mom, I’ve decided to make breakfast for everyone.

Me *groggily*: Oh, that’s sweet.

6: How many people live in our neighborhood?

Me: GO BACK TO BED!

@Wordesse

The plural of mouse is mice, so the plural of spouse should be spice and I’m not discussing this any further.

@Wordesse

6 yo: I’m getting bigger, this house won’t fit me much longer.