Just found out that the old guy at the gym who laughs at all my jokes doesn’t actually speak English.
In the new Star Wars film, Han Solo goes to Chewbacca’s home planet and discovers that all the other Wookies wear pants.
“Oh man, you’ve got stretched lobes and piercings? I’ve got stretched lobes and piercings, too!”
“Sweet! We should hang out!”
– Ear buds
“And now it’s time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!”
– Cat game shows
“Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin’ awesome.” – Pew Pew Pew Research Center