@Writepop

Just found out that the old guy at the gym who laughs at all my jokes doesn’t actually speak English.

@Writepop

In the new Star Wars film, Han Solo goes to Chewbacca’s home planet and discovers that all the other Wookies wear pants.

@Writepop

“Oh man, you’ve got stretched lobes and piercings? I’ve got stretched lobes and piercings, too!”

“Sweet! We should hang out!”

– Ear buds

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“And now it’s time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!”

– Cat game shows

@Writepop

“Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin’ awesome.” – Pew Pew Pew Research Center