Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of _Mo_lee_'s best tweets

@_Mo_lee_ : Daughter: You're invading my personal space

Mom: You came out of my personal space

@_Mo_lee_: Red cross: would you like to volunteer to give blood?

Me: oh, no thank you, I already involuntarily give blood 5 days out of the month

@_Mo_lee_: Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go

Bad Batman: Ben Affleck

@_Mo_lee_: If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her

@_Mo_lee_: "Man, what's eating you today?

*looks down*

I Don't know.... GET IT OFF OF ME!!!

@_Mo_lee_: This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas

@_Mo_lee_: DTF (Down time finally)

-mom's everywhere

@_Mo_lee_: Guy:Hey what are you doing?
Girl:unzipping it
Girl:I want to see how big it is. ..
*Unzips tent and gets inside*
Girl:nice, nice..

@_Mo_lee_: Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p