@_SetTheHook_

Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start.

@_SetTheHook_

If I ever ask you, very seductively, “Do you wanna do it?”

It means take a nap.

@_SetTheHook_

Sorry, I can’t make it. Can’t find my “goin out” sweatpants.

@_SetTheHook_

I’m just gonna put an egg under my kid’s pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must’ve went out drinking the night before.