My cat has learned to help himself to snacks so obviously this homeschooling is a raging success.
If only the door of my car had a warning light for when it was getting low on takeout napkins.
If I choke to death on food it better not be anything healthy.
I have faith in unanswered prayers, unless I am stepping on the scale.
Sneaking out of the house is a skill I’ve used way more as a mom than I ever did as a teenager.
Bruises are your bodies way of reminding you that you should nap more and gallivant less.
I just tried to place an order for coffee but my husband hung up on me.
Never thought I’d be the type of person who competes for attention. Then I got a cat.
At the beginning of a long plane ride, I like to ask my husband why he loves me. His frantic look for an escape hatch entertains me.
After reading his last talk to text message, I’m convinced I’m married to a pirate.