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@_davidlucas_ : [IT guy on phone]
May I take control of your computer?
Me: *Closes two browsers with 10 Twitter tabs & 2 news sites*
@_davidlucas_: I love to use my 6-foot wide umbrella at eye height on a crowded path.
@_davidlucas_: A book doesn't get jealous when you finish it and start another book.
@_davidlucas_: I was sad to have to throw my son out of home, but it was either him or the cat.
@_davidlucas_: I hate people who hold grudges, but not as much as I hate my high school German teacher.
@_davidlucas_: I enjoy long walks away from co-workers who say "Hey ya gotta watch this 10 minute YouTube video".
@_davidlucas_: The art of conversation, otherwise known as two or more people each awaiting their chance to interrupt.
@_davidlucas_: Thanks to Sesame Street, I grew up thinking that Americans had a particular problem with counting.
@_davidlucas_: So many village idiots. So few dragons.
@_davidlucas_: What's a moderation, and how do I drink in one?