Every time I turn in a job application and don’t get hired, I just assume they found this account.
When she tells you she’s a dirty girl and you get the pictures and realize she meant she never cleans her house.
Don’t tell me how to run my account and I won’t make a voodoo doll just to dunk your head in the toilet.
My friendship transcends political bullshit. But if you don’t like cheeseburgers, you’re dead to me.
Netflix still asking if we’re there like we can leave the gd house.
All I’m saying is no one had the coronavirus when people were eating Tide Pods.
Me: I don’t like anyone enough to live with them.
Friend: You’re married with 4 kids.
Me: I said what I said.
People who disagree with me know that they’re wrong, right?
Just sent my husband a text meant for my bf and now he thinks I want to have sex.
My husband told me to hurry up so naturally I took an extra 30 minutes to get ready.