@_steamy_mac

Oh, you’re serious about hiking? Cool, I know how to walk, too.

@_steamy_mac

I’ve got a pretty nice body if your only other option is a river corpse at full bloat.

@_steamy_mac

I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.

@_steamy_mac

Having standards is important, so having double standards is even better than that because it means you have twice as many standards.

@_steamy_mac

Those aren’t chest pains, that’s just what being an adult feels like.

@_steamy_mac

Someone I don’t know sent me a message that was just 3 question marks, and I replied, “Same.”

@_steamy_mac

The pen is mightier than the sword if you have a really good pen and a really shitty sword.

@_steamy_mac

Gonna start wearing exclusively white jeans. With lots of zippers on them. No pockets, just so many zippers.

@_steamy_mac

You are my sunshine.

In the sense that long term exposure to you is slowly killing me.