A woman drives into a bar.
I carry a knife whenever I’m running late to work because that’s what Counterstrike taught me: “You always run faster with a knife”.
My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy.
Anyway, he’ll treat her better – they worship cows.
Apparently, Indian banks will give you a loan only if you prove that you don’t need it.
“Here, throw this away for me.” ~ People who hand out leaflets.
My father once told me, “Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it’s something your father told you.”
I always have too much month left at the end of my money.