@advicefromphil

[making out in a club]

her: wanna go to the bathroom?

me: no I’ve just been thanks

@advicefromphil

me: how often should I water it?

florist: you’ll just know

me: I absolutely will not

@advicefromphil

My friend told me he weighs himself before and after going to the toilet to see how much his shit weighs and honestly that’s so much better than my method