@aecide

Saw my neighbor in a peeing contest with his dog on his porch.

My mum said there’d be days like this but she never said there’d be so many.

@aecide

Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head.

@aecide

Omg someone broke into my professor’s house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him.