Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@aimlessamers : First date
Me: when you said you were a WWF fanatic, I thought you meant Words with Friends
Him:(in tights) YOU'RE GOING DOWN *flips table*
@aimlessamers: Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@aimlessamers: I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not even an actor.
@aimlessamers: Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine.
@aimlessamers: Listen to your instincts. Your gut is always right. It may be a little bloated sometimes...but it's right.
@aimlessamers: *feeds you Cheetos while running my fingers through your hair*
@aimlessamers: Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.
@aimlessamers: Dating is like a 2-day-old box of chocolates.
The good ones are already taken.
@aimlessamers: No thanks, 28 yr old hitting on me at the bar... With our age difference, I wouldn't be a cougar... more like a saber-toothed tiger.
@aimlessamers: English, if I ran it:
A group of geese is called a "group"
A group of buffalo is called a "group"
A group of catfish is called a "group"