I just literally fell INSIDE a public toilet because I did too many squats earlier and couldn’t control my sitting down. This is the greatest proof I’ve ever had that fitness is not worth the struggle.
“What character would I like to see throwing up in a parking lot?”
-How I pick my Halloween costume
There are many different theories about why humans even need to sleep but I’m pretty sure it’s to charge our phones.
I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, “helium.” Also, my friend is a balloon.
What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?
Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren’t supposed to make you dumber.
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you’re better off staying home with no pants on.