@anbrll00

Mom told me to quit calling the postman a mail escort.

@anbrll00

I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn’t accept Jesus.

@anbrll00

Ayy girl, are you Ohio? Because we should be Dayton.

@anbrll00

I got a Ouija board tattooed on my back to trick ghosts into giving me massages.

@anbrll00

Hockey fights are cool but imagine the make up sex afterwards in the locker room.

@anbrll00

Dr: Your Mom is like regular moms except we lost her in surgery.
Me: Did you just use a joke format to tell me my mom died
Dr: yep