Mom told me to quit calling the postman a mail escort.
I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn’t accept Jesus.
Ayy girl, are you Ohio? Because we should be Dayton.
I got a Ouija board tattooed on my back to trick ghosts into giving me massages.
Hockey fights are cool but imagine the make up sex afterwards in the locker room.
Dr: Your Mom is like regular moms except we lost her in surgery.
Me: Did you just use a joke format to tell me my mom died