@andreeahluscu

Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.

@andreeahluscu

I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been “whoa there chap”

@andreeahluscu

All I’m saying is that if M&M’s poured out of a person after you stabbed them, I’d probably lose my moral compass very quickly.

@andreeahluscu

HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses.

@andreeahluscu

Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car.