@andylassner: CNN reporting that CNN will be reporting something on CNN.
Tune in to CNN for all of the up-to-the-minute stuff CNN is reporting.

@andylassner: So Amish people just yell their tweets from the top of their barns?

@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle

@andylassner: In Japan, they are celebrating their position as the most educated country in the world.

Here in America it's National Cheeseburger Day.

@andylassner: So proud watching my son fight invisible monsters in the outfield while the ball rolls right past him.