I knew I had succeeded as a life coach when they called me needing to be bailed out of jail.
The second date went downhill fast when I showed up with a scrapbook of our first date.
The date was going splendidly until my mom called and we argued over my curfew in front of her.
I’d dust but it would defeat the medieval castle ambience I’m going for.
I hate to brag but my family has testified against me in court more than yours has.
Little did she know she had fallen into my trap when I pissed her off so much that she threw her Snickers bar at me.
I didn’t even know my grandma had a gun until I coughed at her house.
I hate to brag but strangers were spraying me with Lysol before this all started.
One advantage of looking creepy is people tend to avoid conversations with you.
If I insult you, I’m either flirting or genuinely don’t like you. Good luck with that.