Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@anerdonfire2 : Wait... we're supposed to be learning from our mistakes?!
@anerdonfire2: Look lady, you'll find out why I brought a bib to our date as soon as the food gets here.
@anerdonfire2: The date abruptly ended when an argument over who's the hottest Disney princess spiralled out of control.
@anerdonfire2: It turns out that you can only spray so many people down with Febreze before they fire you as a Wal Mart greeter.
@anerdonfire2: I make all guests at my house leave their phones at the door just because I know they'll leave quicker that way.
@anerdonfire2: Apparently being a 45 year old man sitting on Santa's lap demanding the heads of your enemies is just too much for some malls.
@anerdonfire2: Let's just say she wasn't impressed when I picked her up in my go-kart.
@anerdonfire2: Fun fact:
Wiping your nose on the person's shoulder during a hug discourages future hugs.
@anerdonfire2: I'm sorry I ate your food but you just kept taking pics of it instead of eating it.
@anerdonfire2: As my mom finishes up cutting up my steak for me, I can't help but notice that my date looks upset.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
Submit a Tweet
FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
We also retweet all the tweets we post on this site, might as well follow us on Twitter!
And what's more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed.