I hate to brag but strangers were spraying me with Lysol before this all started.
One advantage of looking creepy is people tend to avoid conversations with you.
If I insult you, I’m either flirting or genuinely don’t like you. Good luck with that.
With all due respect, your kid sneezed on me first.
Getting high with witches sounds super cool until they start looking at you and whispering about sacrifices.
Unfortunately she wasn’t even looking when I was pulling off those sweet moves on the trampoline.
It took three nurses to pull me off of that doctor after he told me I need to give up potatoes.
Impress them on your first date by showing up in a shirt with their face on it.
Wait… we’re supposed to be learning from our mistakes?!
Look lady, you’ll find out why I brought a bib to our date as soon as the food gets here.