@angeliav68

Truthfully officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving..

@angeliav68

I put on real clothes today. What more can my boss want from me?

@angeliav68

The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights… I bet he’s pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago..

@angeliav68

It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside…

@angeliav68

Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food..

@angeliav68

Standing closer to me in line will not get you to the checkout faster.