@archerenemy

Referring to her 28-day cycle as her Doomsday Clock is wrong…

I know that now…

@archerenemy

Asking a redhead if you can see her pumpkin patch will get you slapped…

It’s not important how I know that…

@archerenemy

Jackpot is like regular pot, but with a questionable added ingredient…

@archerenemy

I still don’t understand why people say marriage is so hard when I’ve successfully completed 2 of them…

@archerenemy

OK, so you caught me bangin’ the peanut butter jar…

Don’t make it weird…

@archerenemy

After 2 divorces, I gave up on that ‘dream girl’ shit long ago.

At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I’ll talk to her…

@archerenemy

Twitter…because if it can’t be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?