@asaltiercorpse

They should just put something in the water so we all sleep for 14 days.

It would be way faster and I could use a two week nap. I swear to god I should just be in charge of everything.

@asaltiercorpse

Her: My name is Katherine but you can call me Bunnie!

Me: No, Katherine. I don’t believe I can.

@asaltiercorpse

Don’t call me honey or baby if I don’t know you.

I’ll marry you and move my mother in with us and then you’ll be sorry.