But if I go out, who is going to stick their finger in the cat’s mouth and ruin his yawns?
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
Ulterior motives? Please, I don’t even know why I do things.
Whenever I see *Batman voice* I always wonder which Batman.
If you speak like Fat Albert throughout the entire exam, doctors will prescribe whatever you want.
My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I’ve been meowing out the window for 30.
Are you okay?
Did you take your cold medicine?
Why are you so nervous?
I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should’ve considered.
“Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?”
Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
Tell me I’m beautiful
Tell me I’m a genius
“You’re a genius”
“Just give me the toilet paper, please”