@badAzz_mom

*sneeze*
……bless you
*sneeze*
……bless you
*sneeze*
……bless you
*sneeze*
………GO TO HELL!!

@badAzz_mom

“MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!”, I screamed from inside the cop car

@badAzz_mom

Don’t make eye contact
Don’t make eye contact
Don’t make eye contact

“Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?”

SURE!

…bringing the total amount of cookies to 348

@badAzz_mom

Sorry to the guy in the car having to witness me checking for boogers in his tinted windows.

@badAzz_mom

*pulls all the hair out of my brush and places it all over my dog*

@badAzz_mom

If you ever want your kids to communicate with you, just make sure you’re talking to someone else on the phone.

@badAzz_mom

So he says ” Nice glasses” and I say ” Thanks! They’re for seeing ”

*slaps knee*

@badAzz_mom

You’re not allowed to say “long story short” after talking for 30 minutes.