It’s not Christmas until I see Snoopy eating 37 human femurs.
I’ve said it before. If Clifford was a Big Red Cat, everyone would be dead.
Reality show idea: “So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson’s Nose.” Hidden camera. Tyson isn’t in on it.
Hundreds of creepy clowns terrorizing people across multiple states. On the bright side, they can all be picked up in one police car.
Since they won’t vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court.
Donald Trump says he’ll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she’ll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly? Knives?
I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I’d try my best to take that thing home.
Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town.
When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.