“I’m not contagious anymore”
– Guy who’s about to make you sick
I should have just told her she smells nice and left out the like Grandma’s pierogis part.
Me: I love peanuts but can’t be bothered chewing them.
Peanut butter salesman: Oh boy, have I got the thing for you!
Yeah sex is pretty good but have you ever successfully started a conga line?
Any port in a storm is a fun expression until you’re the port. It’s still good but a little hurtful.
Today (Sept. 17) is international Batman day!
#BatmanDay #webcomic #Weird
Memoirs of a Fish Stick
When people got too hammered in the 70s:
“He’ll be alright, just needs to drive it off”
People say sausage dogs are impractical but how many golden retrievers can run a fresh toilet roll under the cubicle door?
The older you get, the more you realise your chances of being cast as a vampire in a Twilight reboot are dwindling.