@barryjohnharper
I love how ‘voice to text’ is always so a carrot
@barryjohnharper
@barryjohnharper
How dare you incinerate that I don’t know big words.
@barryjohnharper
Why do they provide drugs while giving birth but not for the 18yrs of motherhood afterwards?
@barryjohnharper
I have the body of a 30yr old
Sofa.
@barryjohnharper
Mirror: If you break me, it’s 7yrs bad luck.
Condom: LOL
@barryjohnharper
Oh, you’re a stoner?
Name every stone.
@barryjohnharper
Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.
@barryjohnharper
Monopoly made me believe there would more bank errors in my favour as an adult.
@barryjohnharper
Wireless bra? What’s the password?
@barryjohnharper
*goes out*
*realises why I stay in.*