@barryjohnharper : Monopoly made me believe there would more bank errors in my favour as an adult.
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@barryjohnharper: Wireless bra? What's the password?
@barryjohnharper: *goes out*
*realises why I stay in.*
@barryjohnharper: I just stabbed my salad 23 times with my fork & now it's a Caesar Salad.
@barryjohnharper: Diet starts today.
I need to lose about 3 years.
@barryjohnharper: My dad was a failed magician & I have two half-sisters.
@barryjohnharper: I came.
I saw.
I forgot why I went upstairs.
@barryjohnharper: The older I get, the less 'life in prison' becomes a deterrent.
@barryjohnharper: I can work well with others OR pass a drugs test. I can't do both.
@barryjohnharper: Cats don't tell police where your drugs are.