Why can’t I track the Grubhub driver AFTER he’s given me my food? What if I want to make sure he gets home okay
My dog, a descendant of the wolf, runs to me and cries when a leaf gets stuck to his paw
How I begin all my work emails: I hope you’re doing okay during this very difficult time of being away from me.
HELP how do you know if a guy likes you or is only talking to you because you accidentally hit him with your car
My dog went to his room but left a decoy and I legit thought he was still sitting next to me for like two hours
Tax questionnaires make me sad. “Still single? Still no home? No kids? Life is meaningless?” Get out of my FACE Turbo Tax
I wish I was a bear, I’d be playing with my bear friends in the woods, not stuck in an elevator with these idiots. Am I talking out loud?
My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING
If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I’m very annoying, and they return me to safety.