@bobinhiding

My driver’s side window is stuck closed. I may starve to death.

@bobinhiding

Look kid, its not “passing out” if I have a blanket over me. Now be a dear and turn off the kitchen lights.

@bobinhiding

When the wife says, “Would you rather spend time with your imaginary friends than with me?” “Yeah, kind of.” Is not the right answer.

@Bobinhiding

Sext I just received from my wife- “Wake up! You’re snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed.”