My driver’s side window is stuck closed. I may starve to death.
Look kid, its not “passing out” if I have a blanket over me. Now be a dear and turn off the kitchen lights.
When the wife says, “Would you rather spend time with your imaginary friends than with me?” “Yeah, kind of.” Is not the right answer.
Sext I just received from my wife- “Wake up! You’re snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed.”