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Page of bombsydoll's best tweets

@bombsydoll : YOU GUYS IT’S FALL!!!!
*runs outside and holds open mouth up to the trees waiting for a leaf to fall in*

@bombsydoll: dude that designs dressing rooms: make em tiny like an upright coffin. good. now make the lighting so that bare skin looks like nightmares.

@bombsydoll: Spotting a woman with a wrinkle-free unstained white shirt, I shield my children behind me. ‘Stay close’ I whisper. ‘Dark magic is among us’

@bombsydoll: guy I just met: 'it's nice to meet you'
me: 'I'm tired of your lies'

@bombsydoll: girl at work scraped the frosting off her cake because there was 'too much' & it was 'too sweet' so I ate her frosting & then I ate her

@bombsydoll: Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though.

@bombsydoll: "I am not a human garbage disposal"

*eats leftover mac n cheese anyway*

*makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*

@bombsydoll: [at dentist office]

Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first

@bombsydoll: milk duds: when you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw

@bombsydoll: *sees guy having a heart attack*
me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth!
person: isn't that for diabetics?
me: it's what I would want