Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of bossy_bootz's best tweets

@bossy_bootz : Instead of ghosting someone, tell them why & what they did wrong. We need less idiots out there

@bossy_bootz: If you don’t get my sarcasm, you obviously lack a sense of humor

If I don’t get your sarcasm, you just suck at it

@bossy_bootz: I relate more to serial killers than people who say they 'forgot to eat'

@bossy_bootz: You’re following someone who just picked up a candle and tried to drink it

@bossy_bootz: [God creating teenagers]

What’s the most expensive way to be ignored?

@bossy_bootz: What i said : I really like this song

What i meant : Shut your face for the next few minutes

@bossy_bootz: Me in my 20's:
oh cool there's an after party

Me in my 40's:
oh cool this cardigan has pockets

@bossy_bootz: Red light : Stop

Yellow light : Proceed w/ caution

Green light : Wait till everyone hates you then go

@bossy_bootz: Of course I can handle constructive criticism
*resents you for the next 50 yrs

@bossy_bootz: Guys are always 'just kidding' unless you say yes