Being single gives me time to focus on other things like getting fat
Just remember someone actually thinks your ex is being sincere right now
How long can you soak pots & pans in your sink?
Please say 12 years
Motives for murder:
Instead of ghosting someone, tell them why & what they did wrong. We need less idiots out there
If you don’t get my sarcasm, you obviously lack a sense of humor
If I don’t get your sarcasm, you just suck at it
I relate more to serial killers than people who say they ‘forgot to eat’
You’re following someone who just picked up a candle and tried to drink it
[God creating teenagers]
What’s the most expensive way to be ignored?
What i said : I really like this song
What i meant : Shut your face for the next few minutes