Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of breatheandlove's best tweets

@breatheandlove : I was gonna post a picture of my breakfast but I can't get the gummy bears to sit up straight.

@breatheandlove: I create my own luck. Also, my own problems. I'm very creative.

@breatheandlove: People say I'm hard to get hold of but my fax machine is always on.

@breatheandlove: My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship.

@breatheandlove: On the news: there's a shortage of maternity-ward staff.

You could say it's a bit of a…*looks away*

*mumbles*

MIDWIFE crisis!

(…sorry.)

@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.

@breatheandlove: Both her name and her living situation suggests that the dwarves MAY have been referring to Snow White when they sang, 'high ho.'

@breatheandlove: I'm too old to still be "getting too old for this." I've arrived.

@breatheandlove: If you're using YOLO to justify doing something stupid, remember you only DIE once too.

Inspirational tweet.

@breatheandlove: Relationship status: my period comes more often than I do.