Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of brittwastaken's best tweets

@brittwastaken : If you didn't want to get bitten you shouldn't have looked at my cinnamon rolls

@brittwastaken: Me: ruin me for other men

*Two kids later*

Me: not like that

@brittwastaken: Based on my Netflix recommendations I'm either a serial killer or chef

@brittwastaken: 20s: Fear Of Missing Out

40s: Fear Of Being Included

@brittwastaken: How about Amazon starts using gargoyles for clothes models so I know what it will look like on me

@brittwastaken: I just tried on bathing suits and now I have to burn this fitting room down so it can never hurt anyone again

@brittwastaken: Me: *insecure"

Everyone: Don't be insecure. People hate that

Me: *insecure about being insecure*

@brittwastaken: There's only two ways to do things: the easy way or the way I'm actually going to end up doing it.

@brittwastaken: Me: this weed is shit

*Fifteen minutes later*

Me: I wonder what this window tastes like

@brittwastaken: I'm all about the sex, drugs and rock n' roll until about nine because that's cocoa time.