@broken_rhi

My son just handed me a note while I was talking on the phone that read “gossip=sin” so anyways I just got owned by a 15 year old.

@broken_rhi

I don’t trust super skinny women who bake all the time. Where are all those calories going Susan? Hmm???

@broken_rhi

me, an extrovert: don’t scare the introverts don’t scare the introverts don’t scare the introverts

introvert:

me: HI!!!!

introvert: *runs away screaming*

@broken_rhi

My friend just said “I hope you’re staying out of trouble,” and we laughed and laughed.

@broken_rhi

My new boyfriend and I have an interesting dynamic, like the peanut vendor at a crowded circus who doesn’t see the woman frantically waving a dollar bill, he still doesn’t seem to understand that we are dating.

@broken_rhi

Been starving for a man’s touch for months and I finally have a date tonight. How do I get out of it