@brynnester

Me: *looking at a barn full of feed* Who’s all that for?

Farmer: The cattle eat it

Me: Wow, that’s one hungry cat

@brynnester

Me: *looking at a barn full of feed* Who’s all that for?

Farmer: The cattle eat it

Me: Wow, that’s one hungry cat

@brynnester

Man: But both my eyes are bad

Inventor Of The Monocle: And?

@brynnester

Grim Reaper: I have come for you

Grim Reaper’s Wife: You don’t have to say that every time we do it

@brynnester

So here I am, dressed as an 18th century Nun, watching Bruce Willis movies. Old habits, die hard

@brynnester

Bank Robber: Put all the hand sanitizer and the toilet paper in the bag and no one gets hurt

Teller: And the money?

Bank Robber: No thanks

@brynnester

Me: Where there’s a will there’s a way

Will: That’s true

Way: Very true

@brynnester

Me: I got you these

Wife: Self Rising, All Purpose and Wholewheat?

Me: Well you said I never buy you flours

@brynnester

[Day 1 Of Lockdown]

Wife: *sitting down to dinner* What’s this?

Me: A delicious plate of Cheeto’s

Wife:

Me: I ate everything else already

@brynnester

Me: *panic buying*

[Later At Home]

Wife: 20 can openers? Wtf?

Me: I panicked