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Page of buttsword's best tweets

@buttsword : women dont read this...
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...ok, guys, theyre hiding a product called "dry shampoo" from us

@buttsword: [biting into a large ham] what is the name of this exquisite fruit ?

@buttsword: imagine a dolphin. now imagine a small dog. folks there is plenty more where that came from

@buttsword: my favorite tweets are ones that don't end the way you expecto patronum.

@buttsword: lady: omg your puppy is so cute whats his name
me: laser guardian