Pro Tip: Don’t EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don’t “get” X-Men.

Because. They. Will. Explain. It.


PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.


Ex: Holy skinny jeans!

Me: They are new. Like them?

Ex: Sure…

Me: What?

Ex: Should a woman your age wear those?

Divorce Reason 509


Ex picked up the kids, brought me coffee & took out my trash.

This divorce thing is really working out for me.