@canadian_jane

This bar smells so bad and I can’t tell who’s homeless and who’s a hipster.

@canadian_jane

Twitter is cool because it makes me look like I’m texting my friends instead of talking to myself.

@canadian_jane

If cancer is ever cured it’ll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer.

@canadian_jane

I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid.