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@capnwatsisname : Jesus: my child, when there was only one set of footprints, Fred Flintstone was driving.
@capnwatsisname: WebMD: you have all the diseases
Dark WebMD: and here’s how to spread them
@capnwatsisname: So: a needle pulling thread
Thread: a way to stack your tweets
Tweet: the thing I did instead
When they honked at me to go
@capnwatsisname: HOST: Make yourself at home!
ME AND MY CLONE: I prefer the lab, thanks.
@capnwatsisname: Me: did I pass?
Driving instructor: *swimming away* no
@capnwatsisname: What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
@capnwatsisname: Me: please, I’ve tried everything
Dry cleaner: we don’t do Tupperware