@carbsley

before puppy: ‘i’ma jump in the shower’

after puppy: ‘i’ma jump in the oven’

@carbsley

[ from bed ]

*accio coffee*

damnit it didn’t work again

@carbsley

squid in the streets, octopus in the kitchen, did i do that right?

@carbsley

barbie baked bread before becoming bamboozled by bearded beavers