Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of chrisanna4real's best tweets

@chrisanna4real : Ever since Crystal signed my yearbook in 4th grade, all of my summers have been rad and I haven't changed, just like she asked.

@chrisanna4real: I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription.

Well he called it a receipt...whatever.

@chrisanna4real: My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I'm not drink.



@chrisanna4real: Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a your wallet doesn't think you're a loser.

@chrisanna4real: Breakup? I'm sorry no.

You're not finished being in love with me yet.

@chrisanna4real: All women really want is to be treated like you treat your iPhone.

@chrisanna4real: Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you.

I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.